This is my teacher: the narcissist repellent

This is my teacher: the narcissist repellent

March 26, 2019 From that blog I started but closed down again

Noy is about to turn 4, and he’s my biggest teacher.  

Why? I will tell you. 

He is a NARCISSIST REPELLENT. And what do I mean by that?  

I mean that he is literally the opposite of me. I’m a NARCISSIST ATTRACTOR. They are drawn to me like flies to shit. Or am I the fly and they the shit? Doesn’t matter, really.  

But Noy is the one human I know who is both deeply loving and strongly believing in his own rights to boundaries. He doesn’t care what adults say or think. He goes his own way. He’s very firm on his needs. He’s very strong on his wants. He knows what he likes and he’s not afraid to say it. He loves food and he expresses so much with each flavour. He tells me he loves me with so much depth. He hugs his brother so, so tight. He loves cars and Sponge Bob with passion and fire. He gets angry and he says it like it is. Doesn’t matter who you are. Or who you THINK YOU ARE.  

Unfortunately I have a few narcissistic people in my life. I’ve always had them around and I never really got it, why they were so attracted to me. Now I do. I learnt my final lesson in these last 6 months. Understanding what it was about me that drew them to suck my life force and rape my soul. 

There are some of them still lingering. I don’t know how to get rid of them as they’re intertwined into our lives. I’d love for them to fall away, but it seems as if I’m going to have to put those boundaries. Again. Part of my life journey and lesson.  

Noy, however, won’t be attracting any of them if he stays this true to himself.  

The narcs that I know that have to deal with him, all get frustrated. He doesn’t fall for their imagined power, he doesn’t laugh at their boastful ego jokes, and he doesn’t follow their lead. They get frustrated with him as they try to control him. Noy doesn’t move an inch. Noy is a narc-repellent.  

I love him so much for this. I also am so sad because I know the narcissists will be trying to put him down, make him the scapegoat. His brother is super sensitive, like me, so he’s right now the golden child who is so “agreeable” and “genius” and all the other things that they say about people who give them the supply they need.  

I want to protect both of them from these evil vampire like no-soul monsters. But I think I’m going to have to just lead by example. My example is to have as little to do with them as possible.  

Grey rock them if you necessarily have to be in contact with them. Practice self love to the point of not falling for their love-bombing or their mean put-downs. Just neutrally non-reactive and observe them without any attachment whatsoever.  It’s so hard. I struggle. I will get there though. My preferred way would be to just go No Contact. That’s my vision and my goal.  

Until then, I aspire to be more like Noy. Totally totally loving himself and his own choices.  

Have a wonderful week, 

Linda xox