How authentic am I

How authentic am I?

February 3, 2019

From that blog I started but closed again

Lately, I think a lot about authenticity. How authentic are we, actually? 

Many of us keep playing out roles, which we think are expected of us. And we do it completely unconsciously, because they are patterns and habits set deeply back in childhood and even infancy. We wonder “why does this keep happening to me??” when in fact, we never question our own responsibility in the dance of interactions, relationships and life.

I’ve always played the role of the agreeable, the one avoiding conflict. And I’m slowly realising that in fact, this isn’t authentic. It’s a role, a mask, one I have played all my life, because it worked for me in childhood, it was a way to get what I needed - L.O.V.E. 

The thing I love the most about hitting my 40’s, is the fact that the mask is coming off. I have no more time to waste. Avoiding conflict and being agreeable has not really led to any supreme states of being/worldly success. In fact, it’s been quite the opposite. 

Authenticity for me, from here on, means being true to myself, my needs, my boundaries. 

No more time to waste.
I no longer need to please everyone. 

It’s more important to please/take care of myself and set boundaries that speak authentically to my needs.