Entering the peaceful emptiness

Entering the peaceful emptiness

October 16, 2018 From that blog I started but closed down again

I am in an empty, peaceful and potentially very scary place. With nothing to hold onto, and nothing holding onto me.

The businesses I have been running for the past 7 Ibiza summers are coming to an end. I did my last ever client interaction on the last day of September for one of them; the other one, the main business, will have its last ever check out on the 27th October.
I left the house that’s been my home since I moved here in 2012.

My children went for a journey to Israel with their father, for two whole weeks. The longest I’ve ever been alone since becoming a mother, is 4 days.

My marriage is finally coming to an end and solutions are being discussed with my lawyer, and hopefully soon - peacefully - with the father of my children.

I am closing door after door. It feels so incredibly good to leave this chapter behind.

It’s also scary to not yet know what will be coming into my life once all these doors are properly closed. Things are floating around; possibilities, ideas, options, but nothing solid for now. I am in that peaceful empty in between space. The same one that you’re in when travelling from one country to another- at the airport, in the train- in that empty, peaceful place where you’ve left one place behind but still haven’t reached the destination.

I keep getting anxious thoughts, and I keep replacing them with “TRUST” and I do, really really do, trust that all will be perfectly fine, just like it needs to be. I am safe, I am cared for, I am living in the safe arms of life.

Alone, equipped with nothing but time, I am working on toning down, emptying, clearing my inner rooms. Yoga, stillness, cups of tea and lots of nature. Studying, learning, researching (because I can’t NOT, I just can’t NOT ha ha!) and I’ve also finally printed out my book- YEYY! It’s sitting there in a pile on my table, waiting for… YOU to read it! Nah, just kidding. It’s not done yet. My editor has told me to not do anything in particular, as he’s working on it. Right now his wife is reading the manuscript, our very first reader. I heard she loved Part I. Thank god :)

Lovely day to you xox