Insane yoga

It might sound insane; but it is the one and only thing in my life that keeps me sane at the moment.

It's the end of the season and it feels like it's all falling apart. Literally. 

Everyone's brains are fried, everyone forgets everything, no one has energy left for working. But the tourists, they keep on coming.

My beloved Maria, who has been with us for three years, suddenly announced not only that she's pregnant, but also that she's going on holiday in September, for a month. I was shocked at the news and knew it would mean disaster. And the disaster is worse than I could have anticipated. When you have someone working for you for a long time, you become comfortable with each other, you don't have to make so much efforts to understand each other, and things flow easily and smoothly.

I am also realizing that she's a bloody workhorse and an amazingly fast one, too. 
The result is chaos all around me and in more than the professional area; basically everything is chaos right now. My days start at between 7 and 8 am, but the thing is, they never really ended before the start, and I never really got a break, because my children, aged 1 and 3, are waking up a lot at the moment.

Last night I decided to count how many times exactly they woke me up (something I never did before, as I understood on a deeper level that counting would make me more tired as I would understand more clearly what's going on at night) and the amount ended at 11 before the final wake up call at 7:50, number 12, final one for Sunday morning to begin. 11 times!! 

And then it just doesn't stop, all day long is just one long race, oh my god, it's just so crazy to have two small kids, your attention levels has be so up all the time, you just don't relax at all!! So at 21:52 when both were asleep, I finally rolled out my yoga mat, and had half an hour of... YOGA practice. And the craziness and the tiredness all just instantly melted away, I felt space again, I felt the strength come back to me and the tensions melt away. It's like ever horn goes back to the right place again. All the things that were displaced by stress (shoulders by the ears, heart in the mind, breath in the collarbones) just go back home. 

It happens so fast now, I think because I've practiced for 14 years now, and the body and mind really doesn't need much to get into "the state of yoga". Half an hour a day is more than enough for me to come back home in myself.

So at 10 at night on a Sunday, after a crazy weekend with not a moment to myself, I don't go to sleep or watch a movie or read a book or pass out; I practice yoga, outside, in the chilly September evening air, under the pine trees and the stars, to the sound of the valley's dogs barking. And I feel sane again. Really for the next shift, starting... Now. 

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