sun vs money: peace & love

From the top of Barcelona, I look down upon the city that I live in.

It's not London, I know, but I compare all cities I visit to London. To me, London is the ultimate city. I say that because I have not yet lived in New York.

I miss the endless opportunity, discovery, and feeling of vibrancy, life, pulsation.

Barcelona is a small town. A beautiful small town, yes- but too small. It's also a hard town to live in. To make a living in, I mean. It's easy to have fun. But to have fun, I need to know there is a reason to celebrate.

Life, love, and health should, in theory, be enough reason to celebrate- but as we live in a culture which values money as the one thing we make our exchanges with, it has become a central issue. How to survive, doing what I love, in a place I love. Barcelona is difficult money-wise and I feel I'm not getting anywhere- except socially and creatively speaking. But it won't last forever, the little money I do have. I'm biting off little slices of it, each day.

I'm really loving life here. It's easy, it's sunny, it's free. You can drink beer at 12 and have dinner at 12. You know what I mean. You can cycle on the pavement with your dog. You can scream on the phone despite knowing the neighbors hear you (in my case, with my phone-phobia, it means I hear the neighbors screaming on their phone and I'm hearing them.) Life is free, sunny, on the street. But without a way to make a living. Which is a better choice? Freedom; living for the day, never knowing where the money will come from, how the rent will be paid- or being in a cold, dark place, knowing everything?

I knew the answer one year ago. I chose the sun. But now that I have the sun, I'm wondering how to pay the rent.

Hmmm. Tricky questions.

Why can't a rich, social culture be combined with a rich social life?

Is there such a place in the world?

I'd like to find it.

Peace & Love.